FIC: The Season of Change
Nov. 30th, 2012 12:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cherry916Title: The Season of Change
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mylifewithin
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/OMC
Word Count: 4,246
Warnings: mpreg
A/N: This was written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
mpregwinchester Autumn Fic Challenge! I had such a fun time writing this, I really like the result and if you notice Jared is an artist yet again (I don’t know what it is but thinking about Jared painting just gets me going!) anyway I hope you enjoy the fic. I’m thinking about turning this into a verse or including a timestamp maybe. We’ll just have to see I guess, see if people actually like the story first lol
Summary: Autumn is Jared’s favorite time to paint. All the colors, smells, and sounds all soothe him into a tranquil like state. Though, there has only been one person who could turn his structured world upside down. That being Jensen Ackles, the resident owner of Jared’s favorite coffee shop, Jensen is everything Jared is not. Where Jared is shy and introverted Jensen is boisterous and outgoing. Despite knowing Jensen is gay, Jared is too scared to start anything. Besides who would want someone who has been dumped by his boyfriend because Jared discovered he was pregnant? Jared is used goods or so it seems like until Jensen asks Jared to paint a mural for the coffee shop.
Jared shyly watches Jensen from behind his coffee cup as the man talks with a customer. His gorgeous smile is out on full display today as the two casually talk about sports. Jared averts his eyes when he sees Jensen scan over the few residents in his shop. He feels Jensen’s eyes on him for a few seconds making him blush.
Jensen is everything Jared is not. Jensen is outgoing and funny, his laugh is contagious and always makes Jared’s heart flutter in his chest.
Jensen is just…..he’s just an amazing guy.
Jared sighs again and sets down the coffee cup, making sure not to look up in case Jensen is watching. He has talked to Jensen a few times but it’s all been friendly ‘How you doing?’ questions. He hasn’t really gotten to know Jensen personally and he craves –boy does he ever- to sit down with Jensen and really get to know him better but Jared just doesn’t have the guts.
Because who would want used goods?
Jared palms his now flat stomach softly, trying not to think about stupid fucking Mike. He never should have gone out with the loser but Jared was young and impressionable and Mike generally seemed interested in Jared and his art but that went downhill quickly.
“Jared?”
Jared snaps out of his morose thoughts and stares up at Jensen watching him curiously. He has a towel hanging off his shoulder, soaking his black shirt which shows off his muscled form; making Jared’s mouth go dry.
When Jensen keeps staring at him curiously Jared realizes he hasn’t said anything.
“Umm…yeah?”
“I see you’re done with your coffee, want another?” Jensen motions towards the counters where the coffee machines reside.
Jared feels his heart speed up when Jensen quirks his mouth up into an adorable little smile.
Why would he want you? You got yourself knocked up by another man who dumped your ass.
Hearing the haunting words in his head is like getting doused with a bucket of ice cold water. Jared flinches and shakes his head softly. “No I-I really have to go. Thanks for the coffee though.”
Jared doesn’t look up at Jensen’s face as he hurries out of the chair he’s sitting in, bumping into some tables until he finally pushes the door open and escapes out into the open.
Jensen would never want someone like him.
~*~*~*~*~
It isn’t until a month later that Jared has the courage to go back into the coffee shop. Despite the smell of coffee making him queasy at the moment he didn’t want to seem like even more of a loser than he already is.
Pushing open the small door and hearing the little chime, Jared shivers and tries covering himself better with his flimsy jacket. Winter is fast approaching and the temperature is dropping but Jared hasn’t been able to afford a good winter coat yet, still too concerned with buying baby stuff so he can be prepared.
He doesn’t realize his hand is literally frozen around the other until something warm covers his frozen limb making him gasp.
“Jared? You’re freezing! Here step inside.”
Jared just stares wide eyed as Jensen tugs him inside the warm building, depositing him onto the only booth in the store.
He watches as Jensen putters around, going through a closet and producing a warm looking blanket before he’s opening it and walking towards him again.
Jared tries to sputter out an ‘I’m fine’ but all that comes out is vibrations. His skin still feels like ice despite how warm the interior is. Jensen drapes the blanket across his shoulders and bends down in front of him taking his frozen hands within his own and rubbing softly, trying to get heat back in them.
Jared just stares at their joined hands, feeling the calluses on Jensen’s palms as he rhythmically rubs back and forth in a slow even motion. After a few minutes his hands begin to tingle as feeling returns.
“Better?” Jensen asks softly, still holding onto his hands but stilling his movements.
Jared manages to nod satisfying Jensen who stands back up with a slight pop to his knees making Jared wince.
“Jesus Jared, why’d you go outside without a heavier winter jacket?” Jensen turns accusing but warm eyes towards him making Jared feel all of five years old.
“Sorry?” Jared whispers softly in apology. He’s never seen Jensen likes this. Sure Jensen is friendly and welcoming and manages to talk to Jared anytime he comes in but he is never like this with him.
Jensen rubs his hand over his jaw and sighs. “Want some hot chocolate?”
Just like that the concern in Jensen’s green eyes fades to a slight dull being replaced by his usual cheerful happiness.
Jared swallows and nods his head slowly.
“Great! I’ll be right back. Don’t move, okay?” Jensen moves with ease throughout his store as he picks up a brightly decorated coffee mug and sets it under his machine. Jared hears the slight whooshing sound as the hot chocolate is produced before Jensen is picking up the cup slowly and walking toward Jared with a smile.
If that was you, you would be spilling it all over yourself and the floor. How can you even call yourself a painter? You’re nothing but a clumsy kid who finger paints.
Jared flinches again at hearing Mike’s cruel words.
“Hey?” Jared startles and stares up at Jensen. When did he make it to the table? “You okay? I mean really don’t give me that ‘I’m fine’ crap.”
“I-I-I,” Jared stutters and tries to find his composure. “I’m okay. I feel better already, thanks though, you didn’t have to do all this for me.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?” Jensen smiles, his lips quirking up as he sits down across from Jared and pushes the steaming mug between them. “Drink up!”
Jared does nothing but gape like a fish before he removes a hand from the blanket and shakily grasps the hot mug bringing it to his lips slowly. As always Jensen’s hot chocolate is nothing short of amazing. It quickly warms his insides and makes Jared moan in pleasure. It’d been awhile since he’s been able to have hot chocolate.
“That good, huh?”
Jared blushes a furious shade of red and tries to hide his face behind the mug to no avail.
There is just something about Jensen today. Maybe the way he is sitting, watching him and smiling. Or maybe it’s the tone of his voice or the feel of his comforting hands. Whatever the case Jared thinks maybe things are beginning to change for the better.
“Hey Jared?”
“Yeah?”
Jared stares curiously at Jensen’s face watching as he seems to be the one blushing this time. “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to paint a mural for my shop.”
“M-Me?” Jared stutters. “How did you-?”
“Jared.” Jensen laughs giving Jared a pointed look. “I’ve seen your doodles on the napkins, you’re an amazing artist and I’d be honored to have you paint something for the shop.”
Jared swallows and tries to keep his hands from shaking and spilling the hot chocolate. An amazing artist? I don’t think so. “I don’t know Jensen. I don’t think you realize what you’re saying.”
Jensen’s brow furrows for a moment, a look of hurt crossing his face, making Jared’s stomach sink to the ground. “If you don’t want to you don’t have to. It was just an offer.”
“No! I mean I-I mean that I don’t think my art is as amazing as you think it is and I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
Jensen does something Jared doesn’t expect. Instead of laughing like Mike might have done, making fun of his weak sense of self-esteem, Jensen’s eyes seem to melt, the green in them glinting in the dim lighting.
“Jared, you’re an amazing artist you hear me? Don’t let anyone tell you any differently, okay? I love your art and would be so honored to have it in my shop.”
Jared’s heart flutters about, the cold still in his bones automatically melting under Jensen’s hot stare. How could he say no to that? Even if he really doesn’t believe it. “Okay, I’ll do it.”
Jensen grins widely, pearly white teeth flashing. “Excellent! We can set up some time and dates and I can get you the materials you’ll need.”
As Jensen rambles on about the project Jared finds himself transfixed by Jensen, not even by anything in particular just Jensen. Everything about the man just draws Jared in, makes him feel things he’s never felt before. Call Jared a romantic sap but he is falling head over heels in love.
He doesn’t know what the fuck to do about it either. As nice as Jensen is, Jared knows he wouldn’t want someone like Jared.
“Okay Jared? You’ll do great, whatever inspires you feel free to do so!”
Jared snaps out of his morose thoughts, managing to give Jensen a small, shy smile in return. “Okay, sounds great.”
~*~*~*~*~
Jared wipes his forehead, no doubt smearing paint on himself as he takes a step back to stare at the mural.
It’s been two months of labor and coming in on the weekend’s right around the time of closing to produce only half of his art.
Every day Jensen comes in and remarks about how much he loves it so far, despite not actually seeing anything but a mass of paint. Jared has a plan though, while abstract as it is, pretty soon he’ll come in with a detailing brush and add a bit more texture.
Jensen should have known better then to give Jared free reign.
Smiling to himself, Jared bends over to reach for some of the blue he wants to use when a sharp pain slices through his stomach. Jared gasps and palms at his stomach in pain, trying to massage it out.
He’s only about three months pregnant and thankfully so far with his heavy coats Jensen hasn’t detected his visible baby bump, and Jared wants to keep it that way.
Massaging his swollen flesh Jared gingerly begins to stand up again but the pain doesn’t go away. Jared knows he’s not supposed to be painting while pregnant which is why he is wearing the heavy mask. He made sure to buy a new one before staring the project, while it is a bit hard to breathe inside it, he has been reassured the mask will work. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have agreed to do the mural.
The pain begins to get worse causing Jared to have to find the nearest stool and sit down. It feels like the air is beginning to lessen, making Jared strain to breathe. He doesn’t want to take off the mask but he has no choice if he’s going to get oxygen into not his lungs, not only for himself but for the baby.
Slipping the heavy duty mask off his sweaty head, Jared gulps in as much oxygen as he can, thinking maybe he is just getting a dizzy spell. But even with the added oxygen he feels like the room is spinning, his belly beginning to cramp even worse making him cry out in pain.
Jensen…
Searching blindly for his phone, Jared finally grasps the device until he’s speed dialing Jensen’s number.
It takes all of two rings before Jensen picks up.
“Hey Jared, you done for the day? Want me to come and pick you up and take you home?”
Jared almost cries at Jensen’s sincere voice.
“Jensen…please I-I-I..” Jared stutters, finding it hard to focus and tell Jensen what’s wrong.
“Jay? What’s wrong? What happened? Hey, talk to me man.”
“I-I need help please?”
“Shit um…okay just calm down for me okay? Can you tell me what’s wrong? I’m on my way okay won’t even take me 10 minutes to get there.”
Jared hears Jensen’s keys rattle as he likely snatches them up off his counter. He wants to tell Jensen what’s wrong but he can’t seem to get the words out. He feels his heart race at the idea that the baby could be hurt because of his insistence to still paint, even with the precaution of buying the heavy duty mask, it obviously hasn’t been enough. Mike’s cruel voice coming back to haunt him.
“Jared!? Answer me man, what’s wrong?”
I’m sorry, Jared wants to whisper. Those are the last words he said to Mike before the man stormed out their apartment door, leaving Jared standing in the kitchen, wracking his brain for what he did wrong and how he can’t fix it. Maybe Mike is right.
“Jared!”
Jensen’s frantic voice is the last thing he hears before he feels his eyes close in sadness as tears slip out.
~*~*~*~*~
Someone is brushing his hair back.
It feels nice. He hasn’t had someone touch him so intimately in such a long time; he’s actually embarrassed at the sound that escapes his mouth.
“Jared? You awake?”
Jared’s eyes scrunch in annoyance as the hand suddenly stops and grasps his limp hand lying on his stomach.
He wants to tell whoever it is to continue with the motion but the voice becomes more serious when Jared ignores their first question.
“Jared, hey man wake up for me okay? You’re scaring me a little.”
Jared internally grumbles but does as the voice pleases. He cracks open his eyes to mere slits as he tries to take everything in at once. The lights have been dimmed down to where only the white curtains are letting sunlight in.
Blinking away the haziness Jared tries to focus on who exactly is leaning over him.
“Jensen?” Jared rasps softly, his eyes showing his confusion.
“Jesus Jared.” Jensen huffs as he leans over him, his head bent down almost as if he’s trying not to cry. That can’t be right Jared thinks softly, his heart beginning to pound at the scene in front of him.
What happened?
“You scared the crap out of me man.”
Before Jared can utter a word Jensen is moving toward a sink in the corner and bringing back a cup with a spoon in it.
“Ice chips.” Jensen explains as he spoons some and actually begins to feed them to him. Jared feels his cheeks heat up in a furious blush but otherwise opens his mouth obediently. The ice does wonders for his sore throat, making it easier to talk without it feeling like nails are raking the inside of his throat.
“What happened?”
“You don’t remember?”
Jared shakes his head pitifully. “No not at all. I remember being in the shop painting? After that it’s all dark.”
Jensen sits down in the plastic chair with a sigh; it’s then that Jared notices he’s in a hospital.
His heart freezes up and he swallows. His hand automatically finds his belly and softly rubs it hoping Jensen doesn’t notice the movement. He feels the reassuring movement of his child inside and breathes a sigh of relief.
“You called me on the phone, you were panicking an-and you sounded like you were in pain.”
“What?” Jared tries to wrack his brain for what happened but he’s coming up blank and it scares him. His hand presses harder on his belly as Jensen continues.
“When I got there you were passed out on the floor, had to call 911. I rode with you to the hospital an-and Jared man,” Jensen sighs again, looking tired. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefingers as if he has a headache.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
Jared feels his stomach drop out at the question. Suddenly the mundane walls are much more interesting to look at as Jensen stares at him, waiting for an answer.
“Jay?” Jared flinches when Jensen’s hand touches his where he has it resting on his belly. “Look at me.”
Jared shakes his head, too ashamed for Jensen to see his reaction.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that alright? I-I just wish you would have told me sooner because I wouldn’t have asked you to paint if I had known.”
Jensen curses under his breath making Jared look at him again. His green eyes are misting with tears.
“This is all my fault. I pressured you to do that job I-I just thought you were being shy I didn’t even have a clue that…” Jensen doesn’t finish the sentence before Jared is suddenly snapping.
“This is not your fault Jensen. It’s mine. I should have told you; better yet I shouldn’t have taken the risk in painting knowing I was pregnant. It was stupid of me I put my baby in danger and worried you.” It’s Jared’s turn to sigh now as he looks away. His emotions getting the better of him at realizing how close of a call this is and that maybe Mike’s been right all along.
Throughout his guilty tirade Jensen doesn’t remove his hand but tightens his hold instead.
It feels oddly reassuring despite his discomfort at Jensen knowing he’s pregnant.
“Is-is the baby okay? What did the doctors say?”
Jensen smiles, the fond smile that drives Jared crazy. “She’s fine Jared. The paint fumes made you experience false labor contractions but they were able to stop them. The doctor said she’s developing normally and is very healthy.”
“Sh-she?” Jared feels tears come to his eyes at knowing the sex of his baby.
“Yeah, congratulations daddy.”
Jensen’s tone drops lower, almost making the term sound dirty. It does wicked things to Jared’s increasing libido making him squirm a little on the bed.
“It wasn’t your fault by the way.”
“Jensen…” Jared sighs, not wanting to argue with the man.
“Really, I asked the doctor about what possibly could have caused this and once he saw the mask you were using he knew right away. There has been a series of incidences with patients passing out from paint fumes. The masks were faulty Jay, there was a flaw in the manufacturing and yet they haven’t been recalled the doctor says the company has a serious lawsuit on their hands.”
Jared stares flabbergasted at the news. He bought that mask specifically for painting only to find out he probably should’ve been using his old one after all. While it does make him feel better he still feels guilty over buying the damn thing in the first place.
“You know Jared you’re adorable but can be so dense sometimes.”
Jared snaps out of self-loathing to stare at Jensen. He’s smiling brightly, his hand still holding his own tightly.
“What?”
“Jared, I have been endlessly flirting with you for months now. If you weren’t so hot I might have given up a while ago.”
Flirting? “I-I don’t understand?” Jared stutters. This has to be some kind of mistake Jared is sure he’s still asleep and dreaming. That makes more sense than what is unraveling right now.
“Jared you’re sweet, funny, and talented. I can remember the first time you came into my shop. You walked in with some older man but you looked so sad. You kept staring out the window as if you were dreaming, I wanted to maybe go over there and say something or start up a conversation but I didn’t have the guts. Misha said I was a pussy for that by the way.”
Jared remembers the first time he came in too. It was a cold winter day and despite Jared trying to tell Mike he wasn’t feeling well the man dragged him out for some coffee anyway. Jared’s dreaming look was actually him spacing out, feeling like he would pass out at any minute but he doesn’t remember Jensen ever watching him, if anything Jared sat watching him, wanting to map out every inch of the man.
Maybe Mike somehow knew he was beginning to fall for another man? Maybe that was why he ended it so quickly when Jared announced he was pregnant, assuming the baby was Jensen’s?
“What are you trying to say Jensen?”
“What I’m saying is I really and truly like you, and if this experience has taught me anything it’s that I’m not letting you go. Would you consider maybe going on a date with me? If it’s okay with you I’d like to give it a try.”
“Why? Why me? I’m used goods Jensen…” Jared trails off and turns his head to the side not wanting to see the realization on Jensen’s face when he recognizes Jared’s words as the truth.
A rough hand grasps his chin and gently pulls his head straight. Jared blinks as Jensen’s intense gaze settles on him. “You’re not used goods. You’re not ‘goods’, you’re a human being who is carrying a baby, albeit another man’s baby but that doesn’t make you anything less of what you are which is amazing. You hear me? This,” Jensen settles his hand more firmly on Jared’s belly to prove his point. “Is something precious and I won’t let you think anything less of your baby or yourself because of this, you hear me?”
Jared swallows; the words hitting deeply. “Yes I do.”
“Good.” Jensen smirks before he leans in and presses his lips gently against Jared’s dry ones, almost as if asking for permission.
Jared opens his mouth in response as Jensen’s tongue tangles with his own. He hears Jensen moan which causes his cock to stir in interest against the thin gown he’s wearing. He feels himself blush again which makes Jensen stop and chuckle.
“You sure do get excited easily.” Jensen jokes softly.
“It’s the pregnancy.” Jared hurriedly adds, embarrassed at his body responding as if he was fifteen.
“I know that’s a fun little side effect isn’t it? I think we’re going to have fun with that.”
The dirty meaning behind the words has Jared blushing again which makes Jensen laugh, a full body laugh that has Jared smiling.
Watching Jensen laugh makes Jared’s insides turn to jelly.
Maybe he isn’t a lost cause. Maybe he is worth something to someone.
~*~*~*~*~
“Hey baby.”
Jared smiles as Jensen’s arms wind around his now fully pregnant stomach and softly rest there for a minute. He shivers at feeling his neck being gently sucked and knowing that a hickey would be forming from the treatment.
“Nice day at work?” Jared kids at seeing Jensen in such a good mood.
“Actually yes, that Justin kid quit. So I didn’t have to fire him. I was pulling my hair out over the decision for weeks.” Jensen sighs, rubbing the lingering tension out of his neck.
Jared sets the dish towel down and grabs Jensen’s hand leading him over to their comfy sofa.
When they began dating after Jared’s hospital stint, things only got progressively better from thereon. His life began to make sense, things just fitting into place. It’s the absolute best feeling in the world…after feeling his daughter kick and move inside him and Jensen fucking him. But it ranks high.
Of course the couple had their fair share of bumps in the road. Jared accidently found pictures of Jensen’s dead brother once and pried a little too hard resulting in a fight and Jared hasn’t told Jensen the true story about Mike but he knows he isn’t quite ready to talk.
Jared plops down on the sofa with little grace just happy to be off his feet. Jensen sits down softly beside him opening up his arms and inviting Jared to come snuggle up close.
Jared is an avid snuggler, especially when pregnant which Jensen always indulges when he can.
“How have you been today? I missed you at the shop I figured you’d come in and see me.” Jensen fake pouts making Jared poke him in the side causing Jensen to squirm.
Jensen is very ticklish as Jared has found out.
“I’ve been okay my feet have been killing me though.” Jared hints, secretly wanting a massage from his boyfriend.
Jensen rolls his eyes but otherwise motions for Jared to prop his feet up on his lap. “Why do I indulge you?”
Jared smirks. “Because you love me.”
“Touche.” Jensen responds with his familiar answer.
Jared has Jensen help him lift his legs until he’s resting flat on his back with his feet in Jensen’s lap.
Jensen’s hands while rough with calluses knew how to work out knots like no one’s business. They are gentle, like a caress but firm when need be. As he begins to softly work out the kinks in Jared’s swollen feet he starts to sing.
Jared closes his eyes and listens to his boyfriend’s words, letting them wash over him and soothe him.
“I could make you satisfied in everything you do. All your 'secret wishes' could right now be coming true. And be forever with my poison arms around you…”
Jared smiles softly. His wishes already true. He couldn’t possibly ask for anything more.
He rubs his belly in soft gentle motions that match Jensen’s own as he begins to fall asleep listening to the man he loves.
The End
Beta:
mylifewithinRating: PG-13
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/OMC
Word Count: 4,246
Warnings: mpreg
A/N: This was written for the
mpregwinchester Autumn Fic Challenge! I had such a fun time writing this, I really like the result and if you notice Jared is an artist yet again (I don’t know what it is but thinking about Jared painting just gets me going!) anyway I hope you enjoy the fic. I’m thinking about turning this into a verse or including a timestamp maybe. We’ll just have to see I guess, see if people actually like the story first lolSummary: Autumn is Jared’s favorite time to paint. All the colors, smells, and sounds all soothe him into a tranquil like state. Though, there has only been one person who could turn his structured world upside down. That being Jensen Ackles, the resident owner of Jared’s favorite coffee shop, Jensen is everything Jared is not. Where Jared is shy and introverted Jensen is boisterous and outgoing. Despite knowing Jensen is gay, Jared is too scared to start anything. Besides who would want someone who has been dumped by his boyfriend because Jared discovered he was pregnant? Jared is used goods or so it seems like until Jensen asks Jared to paint a mural for the coffee shop.
Jared shyly watches Jensen from behind his coffee cup as the man talks with a customer. His gorgeous smile is out on full display today as the two casually talk about sports. Jared averts his eyes when he sees Jensen scan over the few residents in his shop. He feels Jensen’s eyes on him for a few seconds making him blush.
Jensen is everything Jared is not. Jensen is outgoing and funny, his laugh is contagious and always makes Jared’s heart flutter in his chest.
Jensen is just…..he’s just an amazing guy.
Jared sighs again and sets down the coffee cup, making sure not to look up in case Jensen is watching. He has talked to Jensen a few times but it’s all been friendly ‘How you doing?’ questions. He hasn’t really gotten to know Jensen personally and he craves –boy does he ever- to sit down with Jensen and really get to know him better but Jared just doesn’t have the guts.
Because who would want used goods?
Jared palms his now flat stomach softly, trying not to think about stupid fucking Mike. He never should have gone out with the loser but Jared was young and impressionable and Mike generally seemed interested in Jared and his art but that went downhill quickly.
“Jared?”
Jared snaps out of his morose thoughts and stares up at Jensen watching him curiously. He has a towel hanging off his shoulder, soaking his black shirt which shows off his muscled form; making Jared’s mouth go dry.
When Jensen keeps staring at him curiously Jared realizes he hasn’t said anything.
“Umm…yeah?”
“I see you’re done with your coffee, want another?” Jensen motions towards the counters where the coffee machines reside.
Jared feels his heart speed up when Jensen quirks his mouth up into an adorable little smile.
Why would he want you? You got yourself knocked up by another man who dumped your ass.
Hearing the haunting words in his head is like getting doused with a bucket of ice cold water. Jared flinches and shakes his head softly. “No I-I really have to go. Thanks for the coffee though.”
Jared doesn’t look up at Jensen’s face as he hurries out of the chair he’s sitting in, bumping into some tables until he finally pushes the door open and escapes out into the open.
Jensen would never want someone like him.
It isn’t until a month later that Jared has the courage to go back into the coffee shop. Despite the smell of coffee making him queasy at the moment he didn’t want to seem like even more of a loser than he already is.
Pushing open the small door and hearing the little chime, Jared shivers and tries covering himself better with his flimsy jacket. Winter is fast approaching and the temperature is dropping but Jared hasn’t been able to afford a good winter coat yet, still too concerned with buying baby stuff so he can be prepared.
He doesn’t realize his hand is literally frozen around the other until something warm covers his frozen limb making him gasp.
“Jared? You’re freezing! Here step inside.”
Jared just stares wide eyed as Jensen tugs him inside the warm building, depositing him onto the only booth in the store.
He watches as Jensen putters around, going through a closet and producing a warm looking blanket before he’s opening it and walking towards him again.
Jared tries to sputter out an ‘I’m fine’ but all that comes out is vibrations. His skin still feels like ice despite how warm the interior is. Jensen drapes the blanket across his shoulders and bends down in front of him taking his frozen hands within his own and rubbing softly, trying to get heat back in them.
Jared just stares at their joined hands, feeling the calluses on Jensen’s palms as he rhythmically rubs back and forth in a slow even motion. After a few minutes his hands begin to tingle as feeling returns.
“Better?” Jensen asks softly, still holding onto his hands but stilling his movements.
Jared manages to nod satisfying Jensen who stands back up with a slight pop to his knees making Jared wince.
“Jesus Jared, why’d you go outside without a heavier winter jacket?” Jensen turns accusing but warm eyes towards him making Jared feel all of five years old.
“Sorry?” Jared whispers softly in apology. He’s never seen Jensen likes this. Sure Jensen is friendly and welcoming and manages to talk to Jared anytime he comes in but he is never like this with him.
Jensen rubs his hand over his jaw and sighs. “Want some hot chocolate?”
Just like that the concern in Jensen’s green eyes fades to a slight dull being replaced by his usual cheerful happiness.
Jared swallows and nods his head slowly.
“Great! I’ll be right back. Don’t move, okay?” Jensen moves with ease throughout his store as he picks up a brightly decorated coffee mug and sets it under his machine. Jared hears the slight whooshing sound as the hot chocolate is produced before Jensen is picking up the cup slowly and walking toward Jared with a smile.
If that was you, you would be spilling it all over yourself and the floor. How can you even call yourself a painter? You’re nothing but a clumsy kid who finger paints.
Jared flinches again at hearing Mike’s cruel words.
“Hey?” Jared startles and stares up at Jensen. When did he make it to the table? “You okay? I mean really don’t give me that ‘I’m fine’ crap.”
“I-I-I,” Jared stutters and tries to find his composure. “I’m okay. I feel better already, thanks though, you didn’t have to do all this for me.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?” Jensen smiles, his lips quirking up as he sits down across from Jared and pushes the steaming mug between them. “Drink up!”
Jared does nothing but gape like a fish before he removes a hand from the blanket and shakily grasps the hot mug bringing it to his lips slowly. As always Jensen’s hot chocolate is nothing short of amazing. It quickly warms his insides and makes Jared moan in pleasure. It’d been awhile since he’s been able to have hot chocolate.
“That good, huh?”
Jared blushes a furious shade of red and tries to hide his face behind the mug to no avail.
There is just something about Jensen today. Maybe the way he is sitting, watching him and smiling. Or maybe it’s the tone of his voice or the feel of his comforting hands. Whatever the case Jared thinks maybe things are beginning to change for the better.
“Hey Jared?”
“Yeah?”
Jared stares curiously at Jensen’s face watching as he seems to be the one blushing this time. “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to paint a mural for my shop.”
“M-Me?” Jared stutters. “How did you-?”
“Jared.” Jensen laughs giving Jared a pointed look. “I’ve seen your doodles on the napkins, you’re an amazing artist and I’d be honored to have you paint something for the shop.”
Jared swallows and tries to keep his hands from shaking and spilling the hot chocolate. An amazing artist? I don’t think so. “I don’t know Jensen. I don’t think you realize what you’re saying.”
Jensen’s brow furrows for a moment, a look of hurt crossing his face, making Jared’s stomach sink to the ground. “If you don’t want to you don’t have to. It was just an offer.”
“No! I mean I-I mean that I don’t think my art is as amazing as you think it is and I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
Jensen does something Jared doesn’t expect. Instead of laughing like Mike might have done, making fun of his weak sense of self-esteem, Jensen’s eyes seem to melt, the green in them glinting in the dim lighting.
“Jared, you’re an amazing artist you hear me? Don’t let anyone tell you any differently, okay? I love your art and would be so honored to have it in my shop.”
Jared’s heart flutters about, the cold still in his bones automatically melting under Jensen’s hot stare. How could he say no to that? Even if he really doesn’t believe it. “Okay, I’ll do it.”
Jensen grins widely, pearly white teeth flashing. “Excellent! We can set up some time and dates and I can get you the materials you’ll need.”
As Jensen rambles on about the project Jared finds himself transfixed by Jensen, not even by anything in particular just Jensen. Everything about the man just draws Jared in, makes him feel things he’s never felt before. Call Jared a romantic sap but he is falling head over heels in love.
He doesn’t know what the fuck to do about it either. As nice as Jensen is, Jared knows he wouldn’t want someone like Jared.
“Okay Jared? You’ll do great, whatever inspires you feel free to do so!”
Jared snaps out of his morose thoughts, managing to give Jensen a small, shy smile in return. “Okay, sounds great.”
Jared wipes his forehead, no doubt smearing paint on himself as he takes a step back to stare at the mural.
It’s been two months of labor and coming in on the weekend’s right around the time of closing to produce only half of his art.
Every day Jensen comes in and remarks about how much he loves it so far, despite not actually seeing anything but a mass of paint. Jared has a plan though, while abstract as it is, pretty soon he’ll come in with a detailing brush and add a bit more texture.
Jensen should have known better then to give Jared free reign.
Smiling to himself, Jared bends over to reach for some of the blue he wants to use when a sharp pain slices through his stomach. Jared gasps and palms at his stomach in pain, trying to massage it out.
He’s only about three months pregnant and thankfully so far with his heavy coats Jensen hasn’t detected his visible baby bump, and Jared wants to keep it that way.
Massaging his swollen flesh Jared gingerly begins to stand up again but the pain doesn’t go away. Jared knows he’s not supposed to be painting while pregnant which is why he is wearing the heavy mask. He made sure to buy a new one before staring the project, while it is a bit hard to breathe inside it, he has been reassured the mask will work. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have agreed to do the mural.
The pain begins to get worse causing Jared to have to find the nearest stool and sit down. It feels like the air is beginning to lessen, making Jared strain to breathe. He doesn’t want to take off the mask but he has no choice if he’s going to get oxygen into not his lungs, not only for himself but for the baby.
Slipping the heavy duty mask off his sweaty head, Jared gulps in as much oxygen as he can, thinking maybe he is just getting a dizzy spell. But even with the added oxygen he feels like the room is spinning, his belly beginning to cramp even worse making him cry out in pain.
Jensen…
Searching blindly for his phone, Jared finally grasps the device until he’s speed dialing Jensen’s number.
It takes all of two rings before Jensen picks up.
“Hey Jared, you done for the day? Want me to come and pick you up and take you home?”
Jared almost cries at Jensen’s sincere voice.
“Jensen…please I-I-I..” Jared stutters, finding it hard to focus and tell Jensen what’s wrong.
“Jay? What’s wrong? What happened? Hey, talk to me man.”
“I-I need help please?”
“Shit um…okay just calm down for me okay? Can you tell me what’s wrong? I’m on my way okay won’t even take me 10 minutes to get there.”
Jared hears Jensen’s keys rattle as he likely snatches them up off his counter. He wants to tell Jensen what’s wrong but he can’t seem to get the words out. He feels his heart race at the idea that the baby could be hurt because of his insistence to still paint, even with the precaution of buying the heavy duty mask, it obviously hasn’t been enough. Mike’s cruel voice coming back to haunt him.
“Jared!? Answer me man, what’s wrong?”
I’m sorry, Jared wants to whisper. Those are the last words he said to Mike before the man stormed out their apartment door, leaving Jared standing in the kitchen, wracking his brain for what he did wrong and how he can’t fix it. Maybe Mike is right.
“Jared!”
Jensen’s frantic voice is the last thing he hears before he feels his eyes close in sadness as tears slip out.
Someone is brushing his hair back.
It feels nice. He hasn’t had someone touch him so intimately in such a long time; he’s actually embarrassed at the sound that escapes his mouth.
“Jared? You awake?”
Jared’s eyes scrunch in annoyance as the hand suddenly stops and grasps his limp hand lying on his stomach.
He wants to tell whoever it is to continue with the motion but the voice becomes more serious when Jared ignores their first question.
“Jared, hey man wake up for me okay? You’re scaring me a little.”
Jared internally grumbles but does as the voice pleases. He cracks open his eyes to mere slits as he tries to take everything in at once. The lights have been dimmed down to where only the white curtains are letting sunlight in.
Blinking away the haziness Jared tries to focus on who exactly is leaning over him.
“Jensen?” Jared rasps softly, his eyes showing his confusion.
“Jesus Jared.” Jensen huffs as he leans over him, his head bent down almost as if he’s trying not to cry. That can’t be right Jared thinks softly, his heart beginning to pound at the scene in front of him.
What happened?
“You scared the crap out of me man.”
Before Jared can utter a word Jensen is moving toward a sink in the corner and bringing back a cup with a spoon in it.
“Ice chips.” Jensen explains as he spoons some and actually begins to feed them to him. Jared feels his cheeks heat up in a furious blush but otherwise opens his mouth obediently. The ice does wonders for his sore throat, making it easier to talk without it feeling like nails are raking the inside of his throat.
“What happened?”
“You don’t remember?”
Jared shakes his head pitifully. “No not at all. I remember being in the shop painting? After that it’s all dark.”
Jensen sits down in the plastic chair with a sigh; it’s then that Jared notices he’s in a hospital.
His heart freezes up and he swallows. His hand automatically finds his belly and softly rubs it hoping Jensen doesn’t notice the movement. He feels the reassuring movement of his child inside and breathes a sigh of relief.
“You called me on the phone, you were panicking an-and you sounded like you were in pain.”
“What?” Jared tries to wrack his brain for what happened but he’s coming up blank and it scares him. His hand presses harder on his belly as Jensen continues.
“When I got there you were passed out on the floor, had to call 911. I rode with you to the hospital an-and Jared man,” Jensen sighs again, looking tired. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefingers as if he has a headache.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
Jared feels his stomach drop out at the question. Suddenly the mundane walls are much more interesting to look at as Jensen stares at him, waiting for an answer.
“Jay?” Jared flinches when Jensen’s hand touches his where he has it resting on his belly. “Look at me.”
Jared shakes his head, too ashamed for Jensen to see his reaction.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that alright? I-I just wish you would have told me sooner because I wouldn’t have asked you to paint if I had known.”
Jensen curses under his breath making Jared look at him again. His green eyes are misting with tears.
“This is all my fault. I pressured you to do that job I-I just thought you were being shy I didn’t even have a clue that…” Jensen doesn’t finish the sentence before Jared is suddenly snapping.
“This is not your fault Jensen. It’s mine. I should have told you; better yet I shouldn’t have taken the risk in painting knowing I was pregnant. It was stupid of me I put my baby in danger and worried you.” It’s Jared’s turn to sigh now as he looks away. His emotions getting the better of him at realizing how close of a call this is and that maybe Mike’s been right all along.
Throughout his guilty tirade Jensen doesn’t remove his hand but tightens his hold instead.
It feels oddly reassuring despite his discomfort at Jensen knowing he’s pregnant.
“Is-is the baby okay? What did the doctors say?”
Jensen smiles, the fond smile that drives Jared crazy. “She’s fine Jared. The paint fumes made you experience false labor contractions but they were able to stop them. The doctor said she’s developing normally and is very healthy.”
“Sh-she?” Jared feels tears come to his eyes at knowing the sex of his baby.
“Yeah, congratulations daddy.”
Jensen’s tone drops lower, almost making the term sound dirty. It does wicked things to Jared’s increasing libido making him squirm a little on the bed.
“It wasn’t your fault by the way.”
“Jensen…” Jared sighs, not wanting to argue with the man.
“Really, I asked the doctor about what possibly could have caused this and once he saw the mask you were using he knew right away. There has been a series of incidences with patients passing out from paint fumes. The masks were faulty Jay, there was a flaw in the manufacturing and yet they haven’t been recalled the doctor says the company has a serious lawsuit on their hands.”
Jared stares flabbergasted at the news. He bought that mask specifically for painting only to find out he probably should’ve been using his old one after all. While it does make him feel better he still feels guilty over buying the damn thing in the first place.
“You know Jared you’re adorable but can be so dense sometimes.”
Jared snaps out of self-loathing to stare at Jensen. He’s smiling brightly, his hand still holding his own tightly.
“What?”
“Jared, I have been endlessly flirting with you for months now. If you weren’t so hot I might have given up a while ago.”
Flirting? “I-I don’t understand?” Jared stutters. This has to be some kind of mistake Jared is sure he’s still asleep and dreaming. That makes more sense than what is unraveling right now.
“Jared you’re sweet, funny, and talented. I can remember the first time you came into my shop. You walked in with some older man but you looked so sad. You kept staring out the window as if you were dreaming, I wanted to maybe go over there and say something or start up a conversation but I didn’t have the guts. Misha said I was a pussy for that by the way.”
Jared remembers the first time he came in too. It was a cold winter day and despite Jared trying to tell Mike he wasn’t feeling well the man dragged him out for some coffee anyway. Jared’s dreaming look was actually him spacing out, feeling like he would pass out at any minute but he doesn’t remember Jensen ever watching him, if anything Jared sat watching him, wanting to map out every inch of the man.
Maybe Mike somehow knew he was beginning to fall for another man? Maybe that was why he ended it so quickly when Jared announced he was pregnant, assuming the baby was Jensen’s?
“What are you trying to say Jensen?”
“What I’m saying is I really and truly like you, and if this experience has taught me anything it’s that I’m not letting you go. Would you consider maybe going on a date with me? If it’s okay with you I’d like to give it a try.”
“Why? Why me? I’m used goods Jensen…” Jared trails off and turns his head to the side not wanting to see the realization on Jensen’s face when he recognizes Jared’s words as the truth.
A rough hand grasps his chin and gently pulls his head straight. Jared blinks as Jensen’s intense gaze settles on him. “You’re not used goods. You’re not ‘goods’, you’re a human being who is carrying a baby, albeit another man’s baby but that doesn’t make you anything less of what you are which is amazing. You hear me? This,” Jensen settles his hand more firmly on Jared’s belly to prove his point. “Is something precious and I won’t let you think anything less of your baby or yourself because of this, you hear me?”
Jared swallows; the words hitting deeply. “Yes I do.”
“Good.” Jensen smirks before he leans in and presses his lips gently against Jared’s dry ones, almost as if asking for permission.
Jared opens his mouth in response as Jensen’s tongue tangles with his own. He hears Jensen moan which causes his cock to stir in interest against the thin gown he’s wearing. He feels himself blush again which makes Jensen stop and chuckle.
“You sure do get excited easily.” Jensen jokes softly.
“It’s the pregnancy.” Jared hurriedly adds, embarrassed at his body responding as if he was fifteen.
“I know that’s a fun little side effect isn’t it? I think we’re going to have fun with that.”
The dirty meaning behind the words has Jared blushing again which makes Jensen laugh, a full body laugh that has Jared smiling.
Watching Jensen laugh makes Jared’s insides turn to jelly.
Maybe he isn’t a lost cause. Maybe he is worth something to someone.
“Hey baby.”
Jared smiles as Jensen’s arms wind around his now fully pregnant stomach and softly rest there for a minute. He shivers at feeling his neck being gently sucked and knowing that a hickey would be forming from the treatment.
“Nice day at work?” Jared kids at seeing Jensen in such a good mood.
“Actually yes, that Justin kid quit. So I didn’t have to fire him. I was pulling my hair out over the decision for weeks.” Jensen sighs, rubbing the lingering tension out of his neck.
Jared sets the dish towel down and grabs Jensen’s hand leading him over to their comfy sofa.
When they began dating after Jared’s hospital stint, things only got progressively better from thereon. His life began to make sense, things just fitting into place. It’s the absolute best feeling in the world…after feeling his daughter kick and move inside him and Jensen fucking him. But it ranks high.
Of course the couple had their fair share of bumps in the road. Jared accidently found pictures of Jensen’s dead brother once and pried a little too hard resulting in a fight and Jared hasn’t told Jensen the true story about Mike but he knows he isn’t quite ready to talk.
Jared plops down on the sofa with little grace just happy to be off his feet. Jensen sits down softly beside him opening up his arms and inviting Jared to come snuggle up close.
Jared is an avid snuggler, especially when pregnant which Jensen always indulges when he can.
“How have you been today? I missed you at the shop I figured you’d come in and see me.” Jensen fake pouts making Jared poke him in the side causing Jensen to squirm.
Jensen is very ticklish as Jared has found out.
“I’ve been okay my feet have been killing me though.” Jared hints, secretly wanting a massage from his boyfriend.
Jensen rolls his eyes but otherwise motions for Jared to prop his feet up on his lap. “Why do I indulge you?”
Jared smirks. “Because you love me.”
“Touche.” Jensen responds with his familiar answer.
Jared has Jensen help him lift his legs until he’s resting flat on his back with his feet in Jensen’s lap.
Jensen’s hands while rough with calluses knew how to work out knots like no one’s business. They are gentle, like a caress but firm when need be. As he begins to softly work out the kinks in Jared’s swollen feet he starts to sing.
Jared closes his eyes and listens to his boyfriend’s words, letting them wash over him and soothe him.
“I could make you satisfied in everything you do. All your 'secret wishes' could right now be coming true. And be forever with my poison arms around you…”
Jared smiles softly. His wishes already true. He couldn’t possibly ask for anything more.
He rubs his belly in soft gentle motions that match Jensen’s own as he begins to fall asleep listening to the man he loves.
The End
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Date: 2012-12-01 03:07 am (UTC)Thanks for sharing!
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